Challenge Accepted
by loverofeevee
Summary: Just another impossible moment for the great Harry Potter. Not sure Voldemort thought so.


Challenge Accepted

Let it be known that alcohol and teenagers are not prone to mixing. Well, that could be said for alcohol and ANYONE, but as this story is about teenagers, we shall leave it as such.

The Incident, a day which came to be known as W.A.S.T.E.D (or, Why Adolescents Shouldn't Take Eny_, its ANY Mione_, **SHUT UP HARRY I'M DRUNK**! Drink), began with an innocent game of truth or dare.

Yeah, I know, how many times have we heard THAT before?

OOO

The twins had smuggled in some firewhiskey, big surprise there.

However for once, not many people were interested.

Perhaps it was the looming exams, or Hermione's threats of hanging them by their testicles if they so much as hinted at giving alcohol to anyone under the age of fifteen, but the only ones who actually wanted to drink were the twins themselves, their trusty and loyal friend Lee, and Ron (who argued that he was fifteen and thus Hermione couldn't have a go at him. She disagreed). Harry wasn't really all that up for it, however the twins worked their magic on him, and convinced him that one day to be a teenager (in comparison to the lifetime of being either the savior or the scrape goat) would do him wonders.

Hermione, being the sensible rule abiding one, decided to follow the group to make sure they didn't kill themselves.

It was decided they would bring their illegal stash to the Room of Requirement, where a comfy set of sofas lay in wait.

The game, and thus the Incident, happened a few drinks later.

OOO

'Let's play truth or dare!' Fred proclaimed.

'That game's lame' Ron protested.

'Nonsense, its fun!' George tutted, smirking as his other half passed out another round of firewhiskey.

After a little more protesting, and plenty of drinking, the group decided what was the worst that would happen.

Some love confessions *cough Ron Hermione cough* and some humiliating dares (which shall never be repeated outside of this room, _you're no fun Ron!_) later, they unanimously felt it was time to take it up a notch.

OOO

'Lee…I dare you to…um…proclaim your love to McGonagall!' Ron declared.

'I would, except I picked truth' the dark skinned boy replied with a smirk.

'Oh…Well in that case…Do you have a crush on Alicia?' the red head asked.

Blushing slightly Lee nodded.

'Ah ah Lee…'

'We need a VERBAL answer' the twins smirked.

'FINE! Yes I have a crush on her' Lee huffed.

Ron looked satisfied, and the dark skinned boy chose a victim.

'Hermione, truth or dare?'

Wary of the boy's smirk, but wanting to prove she wasn't scared, she picked dare.

'I dare you…to go up to Professor Snape…'

'Oh God no…' Hermione whimpered under his breath.

'…And kiss him, full on the mouth'.

'Now?' she asked with a hint of pleading in her voice.

'Now' Lee agreed, he was going to make her do it in the great hall at breakfast the next day, but he was a sucker for the puppy dog eyes.

Sighing, running over her last will and testament, and wishing she'd had that drink when it was offered to her so that maybe she'd be drunk enough to pull this off without dying a gruesome death, Hermione got to her feet and left the room.

It took a good fifteen minutes before she returned, slamming the door behind her and holding her breath as she listened for any dungeon bats on the warpath.

'Was it full on the mouth?' Lee asked.

'Yes'.

He tasted of smoke, she wasn't sure if it was cauldron fire or that the man was more muggle friendly than he let on.

'And did he know it was you?'

'Yes'.

Why did he think she was running for her bloody life?! Hopefully Snape didn't know about the Room of Requirement.

'And was it good?'

She glared at him, he hastily retracted his question.

'Alright then, your turn' Lee said, alcohol allowing him to forget he was in threat of his life for a moment and happily ignored the impending doom he'd just placed on the girl's lap.

Huffing at his blatant disregard for her life and sanity, Hermione slumped down, grabbed the nearest bottle, regardless of who it belonged to…

'Hey!' Ron protested.

…Gave it a good long swig, and scanned the room for the next victim.

OOO

'Hey...exactly when did Dragon...'

'Draco...'

'Draco get here...?'

The group turned to the blonde, but he just waved them off as he snagged another drink. Truth was he was on patrol when he caught one of the Gryffindorks sneaking back to the Room of Requirement. Since Lee was giggling and quite flushed, Draco realised alcohol must be involved, and thus followed the dark skinned boy inside. He was all set to take points and hand out detentions, when he realised not a single one of them even realised he was there. Making a quick decision, he shrugged, swiped a bottle from one of the twin's hands, plonked himself down, and invited himself into the game. The group were so sloshed at that point that they hadn't even noticed the new member until Harry happened to wonder where the flash of blonde came from.

George peered at the Slytherin, suddenly making a connection to an earlier incident.

'Wait a minute...It was you who *hic* dared me to snog Ron!'

Draco just smirked.

'Not my fault you took the dare' he commented, not nearly as drunk as the others. He was getting there though.

'That was gross!' Ron whined.

'Yeah! Could have at least *hic* dared me to snog Harry!' George agreed.

Draco raised a dainty eyebrow.

'Next time' he promised.

Appeased, George called for the next victim.

OOO

'Challenge accep *hic* ted! What exactly did you just challenge me to do?'

Draco snorted something that sounded suspiciously like "dumbass" into his bottle. Cuffing the blonde over the head, Fred repeated his dare nice and slowly.

'You...'

He pointed to Harry.

'Have to go to Voldemort...'

He mimed a big scary dark lord with an evil laugh.

'And moon him...'

And dropped his trousers to pat his bum encouragingly.

'Ooh...right...I can do that' Harry slurred, stumbling to his feet and doing the drunken dance out the door.

'Shouldn't we *hic oh excuse me* help him get to Moldy...Volde...Mortyvol?' Hermione asked.

'Nah...He'll be fine...' Ron replied with a wide grin, emptying the rest of his bottle, then looked at it in confusion and turned it upside down to confirm it was indeed empty.

'Can I have *hic* another?'

OOO

'Moon Voldemort...Moldy Voldywarts...heh that rhymes. Here comes Moldy *hic* warts here comes Moldywarts right down Moldywarts lane...who calls their kid *hic* Voldemort any way? What a lousy *hic* name!'

Harry would never be able to tell you how, but somehow he was able to make it down the numerous halls of Hogwarts without any of the patrolling teachers seeing him, out the main gates, and apparate without splinching himself to a place he'd never before stepped foot in, all the while mocking Voldemort and making random howls at the moon to remind him what he was supposed to do (cause everyone knows that howling will make you think of moon and moon will make you think of mooning, that was Harry's logic).

'Moony Moony nice and *hic* breezy how pale's your bum today...I should be a singer...' Harry praised as he stepped inside Riddle Manor.

As it happened, Voldemort had called a deatheater meeting at the very same time the teenagers had begun their little game. He was in the middle of disciplining one of his followers for something completely not their fault when Harry stumbled through the double doors that led to his throne room.

'Hey old *hic* Moldy old pal...!'

Harry scrunched his face in confusion, looking round the room.

'Why do you have a *hic* throne room? That's so cheesy! *hic*'

Voldemort wasn't entirely sure whether to be amused that his enemy was completely smashed, or horrified that Harry had managed to find his way to his secret lair, completely smashed.

He settled on a little of both.

'Potter?! Why are you here?! What in the world have you been drinking?!'

Harry gave a leery grin.

'Not telling...' he sung, tapping his nose like he remembered seeing the Headmaster doing. He stopped when he realised that tapping himself in the eye hurt.

Voldemort inwardly shook himself out his stupor, noting that his deatheaters weren't any better off. Even the guy who moments before had been screaming on the floor was staring at the boy bewildered.

'Very well then. Perhaps you could tell me how you managed to find your way here?' he suggested.

Harry opened his mouth to answer, then paused and looked around once more.

'Dunno' he replied with a grin, then giggled madly like he'd told the most hilarious joke.

Voldemort sighed and pinched his…well what should have been his nose. It was no fun defeating someone when they didn't even know they were being defeated. This right here was why he banned his followers from drinking.

'Potter, go back to school. I can't be trifled with you anymore' he spoke, making shooing motions with one hand.

Harry frowned.

'But...but I was here to...'

He paused again and thought really hard. What was it he was here to do?

'If you even attempt to say you are here to destroy me then forget it. You're drunk, leave' Voldemort said with a glare.

Harry suddenly snapped his fingers, then got distracted trying to actually make them snap cause it didn't work the first time.

'Get on with it Potter!' Voldemort snarled.

Glancing at the man, Harry narrowed his eyes. Then decided finger snapping wasn't important cause he'd just remembered what he was supposed to be here for.

'Moon!' he exclaimed in triumph.

'Moon' Voldemort deadpanned, just wishing the teen would remove himself from their vicinity so he could finish his meeting in peace.

Harry nodded happily, then without warning spun round, bent over, stumbled a little before steadying himself, then yanked his trousers down. He gave a giggly grin, then realised it was only his trousers he'd pulled down. Sighing dramatically he took hold of his knickers and yanked them down as well, then hummed in satisfaction as he completed his dare, wiggling his bum to his out of tune music.

Of course naturally being drunk and bent over, his balance soon suffered and he found himself face first on the floor with his butt in the air.

'Ouchies' he moaned, pushing himself up.

Then, realising he was much more balanced on all fours, he happily crawled away to find his way back to Hogwarts and tell the others, trousers and underwear still at his ankles.

Once again he managed the impossible and returned in tact to the Room of Requirement, where the others congratulated him on mooning the evil Dark Lord Voldemort, although Draco was pretty sure he was telling fibs.

Voldemort and his followers stared at the retreating Boy Who Lived. That is, they stared whilst trying not to stare, after all the lad's bum was on display for all to see.

'Huh, he ain't so scrawny now' someone commented.

Voldemort slapped a palm to his face. He could really use a drink about now.

OOO

The next day, after recovering from their hangovers, the group agreed to forget about the night before.

Coincidentally, so did Voldemort.

Of course, Harry couldn't help but think that in years to come, when he was as old and wrinkly as Dumbledore, he would be telling his great grandchildren about how he mooned the big bad Dark Lord, and lived to tell the tale.


End file.
